Springfield Bucket List

So, we are packing up and leaving the Midwest--heading east to Pittsburgh, PA. Not to be confused with Pittsburg, KS.

Now that we've got that cleared up, are we excited to move? Uh, try ecstatic! We’ve been wanting to get the heck outta here for awhile now. But, whyyyyyy? you ask. I don’t want to get into all the reasons, because Springfield hasn’t been completely horrible to us. We went to college here. We met good friends here. We had many a fun time here. However, “here” is no longer where we belong. We’ve known for quite awhile that we wanted to live in a bigger city. So, opportunity knocked, and off we go!

That said, there are places in Springfield I am going to miss dearly. I know, I know…I’ll find new things and places to love in Pittsburgh, but I’m sure some things will never be quite the same. So, I’ve made our “Springfield Bucket List”--a collection of all the things I’d like to experience once more before we say buh-bye to the Queen City of the Ozarks. Cause who knows when we’ll be back!

1. “Go see a movie at the Moxie.” Oh, Moxie…how do I love thee? Let me count the ways! The Moxie is one of my favorite places…in the entire world. It’s a great independent cinema located downtown. They get all those foreign and indie films that you’d never get a chance to see on the big screen otherwise. I’ve been a fan since they opened and have seen some really amazing films there. It will be hard to say good-bye. DONE! Saw "Like Crazy".

2. “Eat cupcakes at The Cup.” Best. Cupcakes. In. The. World. ‘Nuff said. DONE. They were delicious!

3. “Eat the shrimp & crab dip at the Mudlounge.” Ahh, the Mudlounge. My favorite bar in Springfield. I just love it. It's fun and funky and has always been smoke-free. And their seafood dip is to DIE FOR. We are always discussing our love for it. DONE!

4. “Eat crab cakes at Brew Co.” So what? I like crab, okay? I’ve sampled the crab cakes at several eateries across Springfield, and these are the best. The BEST!! (At least in Pittsburgh, fresh seafood is not such a rarity, so I’ll be in heaven.) DONE! No longer on the menu...had to cry a little, but got them :)

5. “Eat an ‘Oh My God’ roll at Kai.” It comes to your table on fire. Literally. Plus, Kai is just so chic. Not a lot of places in Springfield are. Besides, I’ll take any excuse to eat sushi. (Side note: I’m so going to miss Sushi-a-Go-Go at Ocean Zen. Half-price rolls. Amazing.) DONE!

6. “Get a Chai Banana smoothie from the Mudhouse.” Another Springfield classic—the Mudhouse. When I was in college, I practically lived there. It was like “Cheers.” You always saw someone you knew. And the Chai Banana smoothie is a keeper. (Though, I’ll probably have to go back to get a coffee, as well. Drat!) DONE! Also stopped by a few days later to grab a Honey Almond Latte, in case you were wondering :)

7. “Go to the Piano Bar.” It’s actually named Ernie Biggs, but does anyone call it that? I always loved that place, but stopped going because it was always unbearably smoky inside. Since Springfield is now smoke-free, I’d like to go back. One last time! DONE!

8. “See the Christmas lights at Cornerstone Church.” We actually live next to this place. We got married there. Every December I say, “I want to go see the Christmas display this year!” and we never go. This year, my friend. This year. DONE! Sadly, it was kind of lame. Totally lame, that is.

9. “Have Imo’s Pizza.” Dear lord, when will I get to eat St. Louis-style pizza again? We rarely eat it as is, but at least it’s always an option. Not for much longer! So, gotta have it before we leave. DONE! That stuff is addictive!

Alright, those are the “must-dos”. I really hope I'm not forgetting something! Sure, there are other “if we have the chance, would like to-dos,” but I won’t mention those. And of course, there are the inevitable “it’s too late to-dos,” like visit the Japanese Stroll Garden, or go to Art Walk one last time.

Well, we don’t have much time left, just a week and a half, so we’ve got to get moving if we’re really going to hit all these places. I'm getting all nostalgic, too. Wish us luck!

Tales from My iPod: Melancholy Edition

I love music. Can’t live without it. I especially like sad music, it would seem. Don’t get me wrong, I like a good party anthem and am heavily into electronic dance (more on that later), but a lot of times, I really just want to hear depressing songs. They somehow validate my feelings, if that makes any sense. Maybe I shouldn’t say depressing, per se, as not all these songs are necessarily “slit-your-wrists” fare, but each does have some sort of sad undertone. These are songs that have been inspiring to me in my writing. My work isn’t all “woe is me”, but I do have a habit of telling stories containing characters going through rough patches. So, here are a few songs that I regularly listen to, which are always good for getting me in the mood…to write.

1. “Undiscovered” by James Morrison. Okay, can I just start by saying how much I love this song? It’s not super duper sad, but it does have a melancholy feel to it. I wish I’d had this song back when I was single, because it would have been my theme. Now, I listen to it as a wannabe novelist and think, well, I’m just undiscovered. Someday, people will notice me. It’s just inspiring, that’s all.

2. “Glass” by Gavin DeGraw. Had to have some Gavin on here. I just love him. Some of his songs are upbeat and fun, and others are kind of “hey, I’m just a lonely guy lookin’ for love”. Though, let’s be honest, he probably doesn't have any trouble in that department. Then again, it’s hard to meet a quality mate, and I doubt he’d consider many of his groupies as girlfriend material. This song speaks to me. From the way I interpret it, it’s about falling in love with someone that just doesn’t love you back. Freakin’ story of my life.

3. “Creep” by Radiohead. You knew this one would be on the list, didn’t you? Of course, Radiohead—the Kings of Melancholy—made the cut. And “Creep”, well, it speaks for itself. When Thom Yorke sings, “I don't care if it hurts/ I want to have control/ I want a perfect body/ I want a perfect soul/ I want you to notice when I'm not around…” I just want to sing right along with him, at the top of my lungs.

4. “Can’t Get You Off My Mind” by Lenny Kravitz. Ah, Lenny. He has a few melancholy songs, for sure. This is one of my favorites. My favorite lyric? “It’s just that I can’t breathe without you/ Feel like I’m gonna lose control.” Sigh.

5. “I Wish I Was a Girl” by Counting Crows. I still like Counting Crows, okay? Judge me if you will, but their music rules. Adam Duritz is so tortured. I relate to him somehow. This is my all-time favorite of their tunes. And not just because my name is in it, okay? For your information, they have a whole song about my name. Another favorite.

6. “Rewind” by Paolo Nutini. Cause we all wish we could turn back the clock, sometimes. Moments that would have been different if you could just go back and re-do them…

7. “The Freshmen” by The Verve Pipe. I love that this song still gets airplay in the radio (at least where I live). It reminds me of high school, because I think I was a sophomore when it came out. It just makes you look back and think about the bad decisions you made when you were younger, and certain regrets you might have.

8. “Coffee Cold” by Margot Wagner. Who??? I know probably anyone reading this has never heard of this singer. That’s okay, she’s not famous. An old roommate of mine turned me on to her. We listened to her first CD so many times, and it never got old. It’s called “Open Blue Sky.” Check it out, if you can find it. This particular song talks of going through hard times. Part of my favorite lyric goes, “...and I wonder why the sun won’t shine for everyone.” Ain’t that the truth? And this isn’t the most melancholy of her repertoire…but it’s one that speaks to me the most.

9. “Smoke Rings in the Dark” by Gary Allan. The only country song I’ll admit to liking. Okay, maybe there are one or two others, but I won’t name them. This song hurts. Bad. It may even be in that “slit-your-wrists” category. I promise, my novel is not anywhere close to this sad.

I don't even think my novel is sad at all. It just has a few parts where the reader might feel sorry for the main character. Or, you know, think she got what she deserved.

Honorable mentions: “6th Avenue Heartache” by The Wallflowers and “What It Takes” by Aerosmith.

Alright, there you have it. Some music that inspires me, as weird as that may be. This list will probably either interest you more in my novel, or it will turn you off from it. Or, (in probably the most likely scenario) you will feel indifferent, because like you’re going to read it anyway.

One Time in China, I…saved a frog’s life.

As promised, here is my first installment of One Time in China, I…

Enjoy!

One Time in China, I…saved a frog’s life.

I’m an animal lover. Big time. Growing up, my family always had pets—many cats, a few dogs, several hamsters, and one big goldfish. My mom has never been an animal person (she tolerates them), but my dad has always had a penchant for feeding stray cats that wandered up to our houses over the years. Even his current dog, that he so adores, was a throwaway. He found the poor thing wandering around near his place of work, and after turning her in to the shelter and no one claiming her, he took her home. So, I guess I get my love for our furry friends from my dad. I just can’t stand to see animals in need or in trouble.

That said, China can be a rough place for animal lovers. You may have heard that they eat dog and cat over there. It’s not a myth. I know dog is more of a winter delicacy. It’s also pricey, from what I understand. Cat as a food, on the other hand, I don’t know much about. I don’t really want to know, either. It was one thing I pushed out of my mind while there, and went out of my way to avoid witnessing. Luckily, in Shanghai you can avoid a lot of things. That’s why I love it there.

However, I could not avoid the live frogs, turtles, fish, and eels available in the grocery store. And I’m not talking about in the pet section either. I had to force myself to turn a blind eye to that. I once saw a live fish flopping around on the floor next to the tank, and no one caring. One day, I was walking to said grocery store to pick up a few things (nothing alive, thank you very much!), when I saw a big, brown frog hopping down the middle of the sidewalk. It was very out of place. I have no idea why it was there, but I wondered if it had escaped from a cage someone had been transporting. I took a deep breath and just kept walking. I can’t help that frog. What would I do for it? I thought the entire way to the store. It made me so mad that a stupid frog could bother me so much, but it did. My favorite children’s books, after all, are the Frog & Toad series, so all I could think of was good old Frog, trying not to eat too many cookies, and agreeing not to look at Toad in his bathing suit.

So, I told myself that if the frog was still there on my way home, I’d figure something out. I’d let destiny take over. I went to the store and got whatever it is I was after that day, and bought an extra plastic sack—just in case. On my way home, sure enough, there was the frog, inches away from hopping into the busy street where it would have been flattened in mere seconds. I quickly opened my extra plastic bag and scooped the frog up into it. A Chinese man approached me after seeing what I’d done, and started asking me something, smiling and pointing at the bag. Are you going to eat that? I imagine he said. Unable to understand or respond, I just smiled and said, “I’m rescuing it.” Yes, I know that was silly and that he didn’t understand, but what else could I say? I carried the frog down the street a little further to a fancy apartment complex with a pond. There was a guard at the gate, but being a foreigner, I strolled right in without even a glance. I went over to the pond and let the frog out of the bag. He immediately claimed his freedom, jumping into the water and swimming away. "Stupid frog," I muttered as I walked away, happy that I didn’t have to worry about him all day long.

I tell you, sometimes loving animals so much feels like a curse.

I’m So Tortured and So Cliché!

I recently saw the movie Limitless, starring Bradley Cooper. In this film he plays Eddie Morra, a struggling writer who discovers a drug that helps him “get stuff done” in record time. (That is the plot in a seriously small nutshell, so I’ll let you head over to IMDb to read more about it.) Bradley Cooper playing a writer? Hell yeah! I was hooked from the get. If I must be honest, I didn’t even know his character was a writer when I bought my second-run theater ticket. In fact, I knew very little about the plot at all. I just knew I was going to get to stare at Bradley Cooper for nearly two hours. That’s all it took. So, I was pleasantly surprised to find out he was playing a writer. 

In the beginning of the film, we see how he’s been struggling to get his book started. He lives in a crappy apartment and wanders aimlessly around New York City looking like he hasn’t showered or laundered his clothing in weeks. At one point, he tries to explain his book’s premise to some guys at a bar, but the effort is lost when he’s unable to convey any sense through his words. Even though he says over and over that he already has a book deal, no one takes him seriously. He’s just some pathetic guy who is “still trying to write.” To me, he is the epitome of a lonely, tortured writer.

I don’t think I have ever related to a male character as much as I did him. Sure, I have identified with female characters in film and TV (pretty sure I am Felicity) over the years, but watching Eddie Morra really made me feel something. I could totally see myself in his shoes. Maybe I’d pay more attention to my personal hygiene, but to have a million ideas swimming through my head and have a hard time writing them down—well, that’s me. Even though I felt connected to him, I still hope I’m never in his situation. Though there is some weird, romantic connotation associated with being a struggling, bohemian writer-type wandering around New York City and acting all artsy and stuff, I can’t say it’s what I desire for myself. (Not that I wouldn’t die to live in NYC, don’t get me wrong!) I’m all about paying my dues, but to be so sad and lonely all the time—that’s not really something to be excited about. What is it with writers being so damn depressed all the time? 

I believe I am naturally inclined to write, because I am overly sensitive. But am I always depressed? Maybe not in the “clinical” sense, but I do have a dark cloud over my head at times. My emotions control me. I notice miniscule slights that perhaps others would overlook. I often feel like no one understands me. I’m neurotic. And introverted. Socially awkward? You bet. I know, I’m just so tortured, right? I feel weird telling you all this stuff. But, it’s true. Lately, I’ve realized how much I have closed myself off—not letting many people get to know me. Why I am that way is another story, and I doubt I’ll change anytime soon, but it does feel good to confess. Maybe I am Eddie Morra after all. Minus the drugs, of course. Wow, how totally Psych 101 was all that crap?

So, what did Limitless do for me? Well, in a strange way, it inspired me to get off my lazy arse and start writing. For reals. Yes, I am trying to write a novel, but that’s all I will say. I can sit here and hope that the words in my head will magically appear on screen, perfect and ready for best seller-dom, but we all know how that will turn out for me. Like many writers, I alternate between thinking my work is brilliant, and thinking it’s the worst rubbish that’s ever been typed into Word. Which is it? I guess we’ll all find out someday when my book is on the New York Times “Best Sellers” list. Or isn’t. 

Alright, short story long, watch Limitless. It’s amazing. Thought provoking, even. Ladies (and some gents), you won’t be disappointed. And hey, you other gents will like it too. You’ll sooo wish you could be Eddie Morra. I promise.

I Miss My Life Less Ordinary

So, I’ve been thinking about China a lot lately. If you don’t know me, you are probably wondering why I would be thinking about China. I get it, it’s a little random. Am I thinking deep thoughts about government censorship, or the current value of the Chinese Yuan against the U.S. Dollar? Nope. Not even close. I’m thinking about crowded subway cars, chopsticks, and Jasmine tea. China is on my mind because my husband and I spent 18 months living in Shanghai. Population of around 20,000,000. Yes, that is the correct number of zeros. I miss it. A LOT. In fact, I’m desperate to go back.

If you are a fan of CBS’ “The Amazing Race”, like I am, you might remember the show’s trip to Shanghai a couple of seasons back. With my firsthand experience of living as a foreigner in that larger-than-life metropolis, I can say that the city—and language barrier—was accurately documented on the reality show competition. The editors did an excellent job of showing how hard it can be to communicate with the locals—if your only language is English, that is. Seeing the teams run around in places I commuted through every day was pretty cool. This past season, the show went to China again, but not to Shanghai. Either way, it made me “home sick” for my China life.

I could list the specific things that I miss (the best vegetarian restaurant on the planet, the ease of public transportation, the good quality of life afforded at a lower price), as well as the things I don’t miss (the constant staring and mocking foreigners endure, mysterious wet spots on every section of the sidewalk, the push-or-be-pushed attitude one must adopt to use said public transportation), but I won’t (well, besides those things I listed after saying I wouldn’t list them). I’ll just say I miss being there and the feeling it gave me. Could I be more vague? Probably not, so let me try to explain.

There is just something I felt inside when I walked down the street, passing Chinese shops and Starbucks, and trying to avoid getting run over by motor scooters (yes, ON the sidewalks), that I just don’t get in Springfield, Missouri. Okay, maybe I’m not doing a very good job of explaining this. I guess it has something to do with escaping from a life I had deemed “normal” and boring. Every day was a new experience full of surprises and discoveries. In Springfield, the most excitement we’re likely to get is a new store at the mall. In Shanghai though, there is so much to explore. So many visual stimulants. I look back on my time there with such fondness, and I’m dying to have that feeling of wonder and escape once again. There’s truly nothing like stepping out onto a crowded sidewalk, looking in both directions (mostly for motor scooters), and knowing that no matter which way you go, something unexpected awaits you.

So, will I go back? Well, my husband and I talk about it ALL the time. Many of our conversations about our future include the following six words: “Let’s just go back to China.” I miss traveling around. We got to see so many things during our stay, such as the Great Wall, the Terracotta Warriors of Xi'an, and the famous Karst formations of Guilin. Life was just easier there. Was it always perfect? No. But, that’s part of the fun. I’ve told myself, if I go back, I have to put effort into learning some Mandarin. It’s pretty essential. I got by for a year and a half without it, but it was no “mooncake” walk. I hated it when locals would talk to me and I’d have no option but to just shrug my shoulders, shake my head and be the "silly foreigner,” so clueless and ignorant. It’s pretty darn humbling, that’s for sure. But ah, to be that clueless foreigner again, I’d do just about anything.

So, on that note, I’m going to start randomly throwing out anecdotes from my time in Shanghai. I really regret not blogging while I was there, so I’m going to do it retroactively. The first is coming soon!

Let's Be "Unfriends"

So, I write this knowing very well that I risk sounding like a huge loser. Regardless, I feel I must tell my story. Okay, here goes: It has come to my attention that someone has...*cue violins*…unfriended me on Facebook. I know, it’s so shocking! Who could do this to me? Well, let me explain.

Before I begin the sad, sordid tale, though, let me just say that the “unfriender” shall be called Jamie, since that’s a nice unisex name (don’t cha think?), and I don’t feel the need to reveal the gender of said person. Okay, now let me explain.

Back in college (and I’m talking undergrad here, back before Facebook existed), Jamie and I were both members of a student organization. The moment I met Jamie, I knew we were a great friend match. We shared a sense of humor and love of pointing out the random absurdities of life. I truly enjoyed spending time with Jamie, and laughing with him/her at meetings. We didn’t socialize a great deal outside of the organization, but if we saw each other on campus or around town, we’d always stop and talk for a while. After a year or so in the organization, I decided to quit to focus on other things. Jamie and I didn’t see each other much after that, but I still thought about him/her from time to time.

A few years later, I was starting graduate school and Facebook came into existence. (Yeah, I was on in the early days when you still had to be a student to join.) I found out Jamie was on (grad school, too) and quickly friended him/her. It was nice to reconnect, even if it was just online.

One day, as I was nearing graduation, I saw Jamie on a school shuttle bus. I was so happy to see him/her again in person and struck up a conversation. After that, I made a few attempts to comment on Jamie’s posts or pictures, but never got any response back. I was still happy to be Jamie’s friend, though, and regularly read his/her humorous status updates and comments on last week’s episode of 30 Rock.

Then, a few days ago, I wanted to see what Jamie was up to and when I clicked on his/her profile, it was suddenly private and there was a big, fat, “Add as Friend” button at the top. WTF??? I was shocked. I realized that I’d been unfriended. Tossed aside, and no longer wanted as an acquaintance on the most popular social networking site. I thought about it for a while. What had I done to deserve unfriending? I guess Jamie no longer felt the need to have me on his/her Friend list since, well, let’s be honest, we weren’t really friends anymore. I get it. Sort of. Maybe I hadn’t reached out enough and let Jamie know that I did care. Maybe he/she had completely forgotten who I was. Maybe he/she never really liked me to begin with. I guess I’ll never know.

Lately, I have noticed this trend of unfriending, and I confess, I have thought about doing a little “friend weeding” myself. Now, I am reconsidering. To those thinking about it, just know that before you unfriend someone, if they find out, it will probably hurt their feelings. Is that really necessary? As you can see, I’m still thinking about it days later (which is not helping my “huge loser” status). I’m sure if Jamie knew it would upset me, he/she never would have unfriended me. Heck, maybe your unfriended “Friends” won’t notice. I’m sure I have been unfriended before and never noticed. But, unless someone truly did you wrong and would know exactly why they have been unfriended, why bother?

An exception could be that you didn’t know the person to begin with and just accepted their Friend Request to be nice. That would probably fall under the, “they won’t even notice,” category. If your goal is to just have actual friends that you interact with in real life, then go for it. Unfriend away! Who does that, though? Maybe you shouldn’t have accepted all those Friend Requests in the first place. We all have friends who aren’t really friends on our lists—it’s kind of the point of Facebook, no?

If someone’s presence on your Friend list is not hurting you, then I’d say keep them around. You know why? You never know who is viewing your profile and pictures and taking an interest in your life, but is just not commenting, or writing on your wall. I’m guilty of that. I’m always looking at my Friends’ stuff and not saying a word. It doesn’t mean I don’t care. Or does it?

Welcome!

Alright, I’ve started a blog. I know—it’s amazing and groundbreaking and so 1999. But hey, I just figured I’d jump on the bandwagon. Let’s just say I’m fashionably late. Mostly this blog is a way to get me writing again. I have way too many things in my head and not nearly enough of them on paper. I don’t know what form this blog will take on, or if it will ever be anything more than me simply discussing whatever strikes my fancy: movies, current events, random thoughts on society, travels, etc. I guess that’s what most personal blogs do, huh?