Friday, June 15, 2012

One Time in China, I…was accosted by a strange man.


Before I tell you about a quite unsavory moment of my China Life, let me say that I usually avoid talking to strangers. Yep, just like our mommas taught us. As an adult, does that make me a cold-hearted be-yotch? I don’t think so. I just prefer to keep to myself, and I'm not very trusting. In this day and age, it’s rough out there—especially for a woman. 

That said, when I was in China, I was extra cautious. Mostly because I’d read about scams targeting foreigners. What are these so-called scams I speak of? Well, apparently (and this info is from the Internet, and we know how true that can be…) as a foreigner, you may be approached by a friendly, young local asking if they can practice their English with you for a little while. You—an unsuspecting foreigner—delight in the opportunity to help out and accompany him or her to get coffee or tea at a nearby cafe. When you finish “practicing English” (that wasn’t meant to be a euphemism, I swear), the Chinese person suddenly disappears and an astronomically high check is handed to you. If you protest, two burly bodyguard-types will threaten you and you’ll have no choice but to hand over a pile of your hard-earned yuan. 

How often does this actually happen? I have no idea. But, I wasn’t going to take any chances.

So, the day of my unpleasant experience, I was leaving the subway station on my way home from work, when I was approached by a young man. He started talking to me, asking where I’m going, what am I doing in Shanghai, what’s my name. He told me his name, his age (19) and that he was from South Korea. I gave him short answers and tried my best to give him the impression that I wished he’d bug off. 

Guess what? He didn’t get the hint. When we got outside, he followed me. Seriously creeped out does not begin to describe how I felt. I decided that, to get away from him, I’d go the other way and duck into the Coffee Bean. I told him I was going to get a coffee, knowing he most likely wouldn’t try to accompany me. In response, he put his hand out to shake mine, and reluctantly I accepted. (Big mistake. See what happens when I’m not a cold-hearted be-yotch?)  

Instead of a simple shake, he pulled me toward him for a hug. I pushed him away and vocally protested, but he wouldn’t let go. He then tried to kiss me. On the lips. I’m not kidding. Frantically, I demanded he let me go. Several very long seconds later, I managed to force him away. He didn’t actually kiss me, but got pretty damn close. Humiliated, I rushed into the Coffee Bean, where the other patrons looked away and pretended they didn’t watch the whole thing go down. For once, not staring? Huh? When I left the coffee shop, I was super paranoid the guy was lurking in a corner somewhere, waiting to grab me or follow me home. I high-tailed it out of there, that’s for sure!

I still get grossed out when I think about that experience. Sure, I can laugh (a little!) about it, but mostly I shiver in disgust. I want to know what was going through that guy’s mind. Did he seriously think I would kiss him? I guess he’d watched a few too many Girls Gone Wild videos and thought I’d happily go along with his plot.

Now, before you start thinking Shanghai is a horrible place full of would-be rapists, let me say that this was NOT normal. Nothing else even remotely like this happened to me during the year and a half I lived there. I was definitely a victim of wrong place, wrong time. Sure, guys tried taking my picture and stared at me from time to time, but so did women. And older people. And I never knew what any of them were thinking. Most of the Chinese people I saw on a daily basis avoided me, too. Maybe they were curious, but most never attempted to talk to or touch me (unless they wanted to sell me something). Plus, the guy that did this wasn’t even Chinese. (Note: I have been to South Korea and did not encounter anything but wonderful people there.)

Regardless, if I go back (and I certainly plan to), I will definitely keep my guard up. It’s just common sense.

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