So, I write this knowing very well that I risk sounding like a huge loser. Regardless, I feel I must tell my story. Okay, here goes: It has come to my attention that someone has...*cue violins*…unfriended me on Facebook. I know, it’s so shocking! Who could do this to me? Well, let me explain.
Before I begin the sad, sordid tale, though, let me just say that the “unfriender” shall be called Jamie, since that’s a nice unisex name (don’t cha think?), and I don’t feel the need to reveal the gender of said person. Okay, now let me explain.
Back in college (and I’m talking undergrad here, back before Facebook existed), Jamie and I were both members of a student organization. The moment I met Jamie, I knew we were a great friend match. We shared a sense of humor and love of pointing out the random absurdities of life. I truly enjoyed spending time with Jamie, and laughing with him/her at meetings. We didn’t socialize a great deal outside of the organization, but if we saw each other on campus or around town, we’d always stop and talk for a while. After a year or so in the organization, I decided to quit to focus on other things. Jamie and I didn’t see each other much after that, but I still thought about him/her from time to time.
A few years later, I was starting graduate school and Facebook came into existence. (Yeah, I was on in the early days when you still had to be a student to join.) I found out Jamie was on (grad school, too) and quickly friended him/her. It was nice to reconnect, even if it was just online.
One day, as I was nearing graduation, I saw Jamie on a school shuttle bus. I was so happy to see him/her again in person and struck up a conversation. After that, I made a few attempts to comment on Jamie’s posts or pictures, but never got any response back. I was still happy to be Jamie’s friend, though, and regularly read his/her humorous status updates and comments on last week’s episode of 30 Rock.
Then, a few days ago, I wanted to see what Jamie was up to and when I clicked on his/her profile, it was suddenly private and there was a big, fat, “Add as Friend” button at the top. WTF??? I was shocked. I realized that I’d been unfriended. Tossed aside, and no longer wanted as an acquaintance on the most popular social networking site. I thought about it for a while. What had I done to deserve unfriending? I guess Jamie no longer felt the need to have me on his/her Friend list since, well, let’s be honest, we weren’t really friends anymore. I get it. Sort of. Maybe I hadn’t reached out enough and let Jamie know that I did care. Maybe he/she had completely forgotten who I was. Maybe he/she never really liked me to begin with. I guess I’ll never know.
Lately, I have noticed this trend of unfriending, and I confess, I have thought about doing a little “friend weeding” myself. Now, I am reconsidering. To those thinking about it, just know that before you unfriend someone, if they find out, it will probably hurt their feelings. Is that really necessary? As you can see, I’m still thinking about it days later (which is not helping my “huge loser” status). I’m sure if Jamie knew it would upset me, he/she never would have unfriended me. Heck, maybe your unfriended “Friends” won’t notice. I’m sure I have been unfriended before and never noticed. But, unless someone truly did you wrong and would know exactly why they have been unfriended, why bother?
An exception could be that you didn’t know the person to begin with and just accepted their Friend Request to be nice. That would probably fall under the, “they won’t even notice,” category. If your goal is to just have actual friends that you interact with in real life, then go for it. Unfriend away! Who does that, though? Maybe you shouldn’t have accepted all those Friend Requests in the first place. We all have friends who aren’t really friends on our lists—it’s kind of the point of Facebook, no?
If someone’s presence on your Friend list is not hurting you, then I’d say keep them around. You know why? You never know who is viewing your profile and pictures and taking an interest in your life, but is just not commenting, or writing on your wall. I’m guilty of that. I’m always looking at my Friends’ stuff and not saying a word. It doesn’t mean I don’t care. Or does it?
